you’re not as alone as you think

When I step out the house currently, I’m not connected to the internet. I had no use for my phone and just listened to my mp3 player.

I think about this time of struggle, I realize that my friends and family where there for me. Not just those that would throw money at me but those that actually would spend time beside me.

For a very long time I felt so alone. This lead me to isolate myself and construct a life that I wanted out of desperation for anything else. For so long I had felt that I couldn’t have friends that understood me, that I wouldn’t have family that would actually stay with me, but I’ve been shown that isn’t the case.

Not being connected to the vitriol of the internet let my mind breathe in a way I hadn’t experienced in a long time. I could fully leave my phone at home without a second thought.

The first time I had car issues it made me realize that I’m really in a position where I have friends that I can understand and understand me to a degree that can really just be myself to the fullest around.

The next day of issues I was even more disconnected and got to see some of the kindness from everyday people and it was peaceful. The first father and son where kind and we talked about why I was like a time traveler disconnected from the internet and updated my directions to get going. The second guy (Derrick) was super chill and friendly and really just wanted to help and he brought me to another one of my friends Aaron.

Aaron was like this was all probably a good redirection and yeah it was. Even in the car with him the stress that I spoke upon was performative, I really didn’t feel anything. Even though I was in a bad position, I just felt like this is how things are meant to be right now so why fight against that.

The less I fight what I can’t control and rather search for new avenues of gratitude things always go better.

Overall, disconnected from my phone and forced to really just LIVE, I got to see the everyday care and bits of community that still exists in the car centered wasteland that is the U.S. and it really made me just love my life a little bit more.

I feel most alone on my phone.

anyways here are some pictures from when I got my car towed again