The joy to be without a computer

Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

Being born in the information age I feel that not having a computer would silence and simplify my mind and let me exist at peace in the ways that I do my best to attain currently. (without needing to balance my tech usage)

I think about how I struggle to focus sometimes, how I struggle to pour into myself and take care of my needs and how I let things slip by me so easily in the name of instant gratification.

It’s addicting. I’ve grown up right beside it. It’s like a child teddy bear that has always given it comfort.

Without it I feel I would lose a part of myself, but I know I wouldn’t. A part of me only ever observable, forever detached. What attachment was ever really there?

I have the same thoughts about my body too. I feel so disconnected from it at times. But as it’s the vessel I live through I try my best to understand it to its fullest, understand me to my fullest.

But when I see my hazed reflection of myself in that screen. What’s shown back to me is nothing but my mind. Anything I pour out and anything I let it, instantaneous mind to mind connection.

I wasn’t meant to live like that.

Misunderstanding born so easily, possibilities racing through me that would’ve never before, the peace I once thought I knew forever disrupted. A new equilibrium is a requirement for day to day interaction. The peace I so desperately cling on to is as meaningless as each thought that goes through me.

Every passing day I waver between taking inspired action and living a life of passion exuding self determination to its fullest or letting my mind sink in the hedonistic comforts that can only be provided by computers.

I wish to be without it.

My life without computers, would mean that I live to the fullest in sync with mind and body to the best of my ability each day, continuing to follow my passion for love.