Fatigue, Creation, and Hope

For so long now, I have tethered my hope to my creative expression. This ideation burrowed into my mind unconsciously. But its lead me to be comfortable being a workaholic.

I feel like I’ve forgotten how to rest outside of creating and working on something. Even today, a piece of me wants to go out and spend money I don’t have to celebrate Halloween and another piece wants to sit down and keep working.

Completely finish up my next upload for my series ‘Who Are You’, finish up this next section for the LTL episode, and write about the music I like and make music.

It feels like I’ve become addicted to expressing myself in more and more ways.

I write currently just to vent. I am tired. I just worked another 40 hour week and grinded editing and working on my projects. I’ve been doing a lot.

At one point I struggled to start anything but now I struggle to rest. A piece of me feels like I’ve forgotten but it’s that I’m scared to commit. Scared to be the person that can’t pick themselves back up like how I thought I was.

Either way I know I’ll be okay I just wanted to vent because I’m so tired and it feels like there is no break when it comes to work!