Lessons of Reflection forced upon me

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

I talked about this in a recent post title ‘I’m addicted to productivity’ or something like that, but as normal self reflection has consumed me.

Recently learning how to rest is something that I’ve really been learning. Something incredibly important to me right now is creating more than I consume, but what does that look like in rest?

I feel like these ideas of being a forever student have really been screaming at me, different hobbies and interests bubble out to the surface, their acquisition comes with a different struggle and patience. My willingness to overwork myself scares me sometimes.

I’ve been teaching myself to sew lately. It’s been fun but my lack of knowledge for anything in this field has made these baby steps tedious, it’s exciting and all that but I feel that my body screams at me enough is enough after playing with this machine for an hour, and then I also have been playing around in Ableton lately and that’s been fun too but it feels like I’m making jazz!

Unlike videography and editing I feel like these two interests of mine harbor a lot more freedom and fun for the expression they provide for me (it’s all fun I love everything I do) With music no matter how unpleasant it might be to someone’s ears I can find joy in whatever I make. The same thing in sewing to a lesser degree, my stitches are uneven and all over the place but I can still hold on to that child like joy of knowing that I just did that for the sake of it.

It’s joyous I can reclaim this aspect of myself slowly but surely even through the dredge of the work day and the back pain I’m faced with.

So overall I guess my lesson is that even rest takes strength, the manners in which you express your rest change how your action is expressed.